Fireworks, poop, and farmer Hans' house
Sorry I haven't posted in a while.Since it's impossible to write about everything I've been up to, I'll tell what I did today. I brought skyrockets! Not sure where I'm gona fire them since the farmer next door tried to kill me last year. Back then my brother thought it would be cool to shoot one across the field, so I did, and it went through Hans' window while he was on the toilet. The Shit hit the fan, like what my big brother says, because next thing I heard was "Tut... tut... tut-tut-tut-tut", and their were no pyraminds around, which was a bad sign. Hans all of a sudden rode his tractor across the field yelling "Shiza! Shiza!" as he chased us, but his tractor died before he could plow us, and my big brother pulled him out of it, but let Hans go since he smelled like poop, and he ran back home. The next day we found out from Hans' wife about how he was doing number 2 when our number 3 rocket flew in, which made him drop on all 4's, shooting poop everywhere since he had diarrhea, which explains the flames shooting out the window. When I heard this I felt so bad, I brought him a stein, which he used right away, on the back of my head. This new years I'm buying him nothing!
Anyway, I hope you all have a Happy New Year! And if you're thinking about shooting skyrockets, aim up.
Labels: 2008, fireworks, Happy New Year, skyrockets
posted by RC at 3:58 PM
6 comments
For months now I haven't found my first job yet! My last interview at a construction company called Manfreds didn't go to well. I should have ducked before walking through his office doorway, but thought I was clear. Now I know why they wear hard hats, because that hurt!
Venice was beautiful and deadly. Every morning when I went out to get my big brothers paper, which he can't read for some reason, I flood the lobby when I open the front door to the hotel, and the rushing water always pushes me down to the basement, which is also flooded like an indoor swimming pool full of wine bottles, but they're full so you can't put any messages in them for help, but if you did find an empty one, who's gona read it? Rats?
Anyway, the sights were great! Almost everyday we were at St Mark's Square, known to Italians as Piazza San Marco. It's a big square, and I don't mean a drawing. Hundreds of tourists can be seen there from all over the world, mostly taking pictures of all the historic buildings, that's if they're not running from the pigeons that are trying to poop on their heads because they didn't feed them.
At St Mark's Square I saw St Mark's Basilica, a cathedral, Doge's Palace, a palace which hasn't had a Doge (Leader) or a real dog since 1797, St Mark's Campanile, a rebuilt bell tower that collapsed in 1902, probably because of all the fat pigeons living in it and dogs that wasn't allowed in Doges Palace, and saw St Mark's Clocktower.
The Gondolas were really cool to ride, sitting down. If you need to stand up to take a picture, make sure the oarsman (Gondolier) is not rowing the Gondola under a bridge, or you will be swimming in the water with a big bump on your head which wont feel to good, as I know! Luckly for me the bridge was high enough that it didn't smash my face, just my forehead, so my big brother calls me egghead, but I think I look more like a potato.
On the third day swimming in the basement by the wine bottles, I made friends with a fish that I named bubbly. Bubbly was always down there waiting for me to get washed down the stairs with the morning newspaper, but he didn't read it. Last Friday after we pumped out the basement, I released bubbly into the canal outside the hotel, and I thought I would never see him again, but I did, on my plate at a restaurant called Antico Martini. This restaurant creates meals to satisfy all requests, just didn't think they would serve me my new friend fried, because I didn't request it! I ordered fish!
It's been over a month since you passed away, and it still hurts! I'm not talking about when you bit my finger the day before you left, I'm talking about my head! When I saw you lying there staring like you saw a ghost, I knew something was wrong because our house wasn't haunted! Your kids Rocky 3 and Rocky 4 were sniffing you like you made a fart, but I know you didn't, but if you did, I wouldn't be standing by your cage, because it stinks!
I've been using Yahoo for a long time, but I've also been using Google Gmail for almost two years, and they both have been great. What I'm wondering since me and my family are moving again in a few days, and Yahoo is offering unlimited storage, is if they have enough room to store some of our belongings with them?